9/15/12 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
The Pool of Kuule  (mc ff) (new) by   Lisa Teez
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

I must admit that this started out as a bit more interesting and deeper than I anticipated. As I side note, I’m oddly reminded of the freshly dead Rev “I’m not a cult leader” Moon … Anyway, I thought there was a bit too much exposition. Background to the pool is fine, but much of the debate about who Carla is and if the pool can help her seemed almost unnecessary. The babble in multiple spots could have been compressed, I think. I would have liked it better if she just hopped in, and found out what it really meant as she went along. As such, I skimmed through those parts. I found myself not caring much for Carla or Rev Michael Moon either. Though I guess she got what was coming to her for trespassing etc, I guess. An interesting premise, but ultimately overlong and didn’t push any serious buttons.
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)

Unplanned  (mc ff cb) (new) by   mesmeri
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

I must admit, I couldn’t see this going well for Chill. I mean, comic book supervillains may work together, but they will look for way to screw each other, ultimately. Anyway, generally polished, while there are stylistic elements I would just not use. Though, the use of “your” instead of “you’re” is somewhat concerning … Narratively, I didn’t find myself pulled into the story, while there was very little heat. Yes, it is interesting to see it from the villains POV, but this still didn’t mesh with me.
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)

WITHOUT
Mutually Beneficial Transaction (mc mf md) (new) by   BluejayGS and CG
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~

As a side note, my word processor considers “mutually beneficial” an overused phrase. Anyway, this was well polished. Though, I had trouble getting into this one. It’s not like a guy with unmatchable MC ability hasn’t been done before … A bit of exposition here, too, but I wouldn’t say too much. This genre piece still didn’t really mesh with me, narratively.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
Here’s a thought: If I am highly attracted to a “blonde,” who ultimately goes back to their natural darker color, I am automatically utterly gaga for the subsequent brunette!