1/12/13 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Hunter (TelePhoto) (mc ff) (new) by   TelePhoto
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

While there was definite polish, I found it to be touch cliche at first. With little to no background, a vampire hunter goes ahead and kills a vampire, who instantly becomes a skeleton at death. Then we quickly find that the hunter, who predictably falls for an evil vamp later, is “getting to old for this shit.” In the end, the themes here were just more tired than cliche …
(Readability: low / follow: no)

Testing (mc mf) (new) by   Ramaset
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

Separating fact and fiction, eh? Anyway, possible minor grammatical issues here and there, depending on one’s school, but the comma use did seem inconsistent to me. Plus, regular sentences could have been reworked in some cases, and sometimes felt a bit inorganic, for lack of better words. Couldn’t quite feel the emotions described. Yes, I never had serious issues with math (specific genre of math not stated in story), but I also never took a course that ever gave me a true sense of foreboding at my university. The ultimate feel portrayed here felt kinda artificial, partly as a result of that. Still, maybe my ultimately balanced university experience (fun, learning, etc) was different from this author’s … There’s plenty of effort here with its later smirk worthy elements, for this apparent first timer, but this just didn’t work for me.
(Readability: low / Follow: no)

PARALLEL WITHIN
Roaming Canvas
–3/5 (decent, not perfect)–

This was posted over on this author’s blog, don’t know when it will be posted on the Archive … The writing was still generally fine. Plus, I always like it narratively when a main character shows a little logic: suddenly turning someone into a full time sex slave WOULD cause someone to ask questions! Though no heat to tickle my fancy, the chapter, albeit rather slow, was just fine. Plus, the Artist is much older than I thought!
(Chap ReReadability: moderate / Chap: 11)

WITHOUT
Genie in a Bottle (mc mf md) (new) by   TelePhoto
~~4.5/5 (very good, all but orgasmic)~~

Though definitely polished, the themes felt rather old and tired at first like in Hunter. The twist of the guy being a vampire did liven things up luckily. It got progressively better from there, and wasn’t quite as predictable as I anticipated. Maybe this could have been deeper, but it had been exactly what it was meant to be. In spite of the start, this turned out to be a very good romantic fantasy.
(ReReadability: High / Follow: yes)

RANDOM COMMENTS
While I’m not normally into anal, there are some asses that are so perfectly shaped and tight that do make me consider it!