4/13/13 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Sperm Day (mc mf) (new)  by Elod Bob
–3/5 (decent, not perfect)–

With the truly excellent Bombshell firmly in memory, I had to give this one a go! Started fairly neutrally for me, but definitely well polished. Maybe I’m in an impatient mood (allergy drugs?), but it fell like it took a while for anything substantial to happen. Don’t get me wrong, I’m all for green, but that’s not why I chose to read this! Heat-wise, it is always difficult for me to enjoy a woman saying how much she wants to frack a man in the first person. Being straight, I tend to cringe a little every time I read that. There is, of course, nothing wrong with it narratively … Though, it did seem to devolve a bit into almost but not quite a mere bimbo story with a bit too much of a sperm obsession. The story is overall well written in spite of its distinct narrative weaknesses.
(Readability: low / follow: no)

Trashed (mc ff mf) (new)  by Marker
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

Not always into revenge stories within erotica, but decided to give this a go anyway. It’s FF right? Just to clarify, I personally loved the revenge plots of Heart of the Swarm, Kill Bill, and others, but heat was not really the reason I went through them. Though, I may have the oddest crush on Sarah Kerrigan of the former now … Anyway, generally well polished, while maybe starting a bit harsh for my tastes, in this context. Arguing about sex and related just has no interest to me narratively. I’m sure it happens all the time in real life, but I just have no interest in knowing the personal problems of others. In the end, this didn’t go beyond its mere revenge roots, and just didn’t work for me.
(Readability: low / Follow: no)

WITHOUT
Feeling the Light (mc mf in sf) (new)  by TheMCGuy
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~

The first paragraph of this felt rather awkwardly formed to me, making for a, well, awkward start. Among other things, it felt like there was a whole other sentence or oven paragraph that should have been preceding it, the way it was worded. Getting right to it is fine, unless I start feeling like I missed something. I felt like I was being forced to like characters I could never feel anything for so early in a story. And I’m not sure how good a choice Morse Code can be as subliminals or secret messaging if the subject doesn’t know it. Also, though the SF stuff was expected via the tag and synopsis, it felt kinda out of place, making the story feel a bit at odds with itself. While polished, this felt, for lack of better words, hollow.
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
In porn, it amazes me how often women leave their shoes on during sex, if only because it never seemed easy to me to leave shoes on while removing everything else!