WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …
The Mask Becomes You (mc ff mf fd) (2 new chapters) by Carefully Random
–3/5 (decent, not perfect)–
Granted, I didn’t have the time when the first chaps came out for a review, but the theme here looked great. I have a mask MC story in the works myself, albeit as part of an alien invasion Anyway, minus some grammatical inconsistencies, this showed some polish, albeit in its own style. I always find a story written in the present instead of past tense a little awkward to read (also write), but the author here was at least consistent with it. As for the start of this story, while I like backstory, it seemed a little overthought here, given the context of the story (skimmed most of those tangents). Still, I certainly liked how there was an innocent obliviousness here. They were having fun, and had no clue what there were getting into. While chap 1 wasn’t half bad, Chap 2 dragged a bit. This is a story about a mind controlling mask on the Mind Control Story Archive. How much of an internal morality debate is necessary? She’s obviously gonna use the mask, as she used it before her apparent conflict! Wearing that mask in front of the mirror made up for that annoyance, though. The imagery there was quite excellent. Mental TF can be just as good as physical. The mask’s personality was quite interesting. Chap 3 has similar issue, if only because the sex scene was inexplicably omitted, while there was more needless morality and ethics debates. Chap 4 drags a bit, too, but not out of anything in particular … Not bad overall, kinda interesting, but far from perfect. I’ll keep a lookout for more, if only because the mask interests me.
(ReReadability: low / follow: yes)
Pencil (mc ff) (new) by softi
–3.5/5 (good, not quite earth shattering)–
While my buttons weren’t pushed right away, the story moved quite smoothly. Definitely well polished. A bit of a genre piece, but implemented fine, especially for those into pure hypno MC. I guess I liked this overall out of its smoothness. Not over the top; not overly simplistic. In terms of narrative, this just worked.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)
Mirror Mirror (DJ Pynchon) (mc mf fd bd) (new) by DJ Pynchon
~~5/5 (TRULY ORGASMIC!)~~
While not necessarily button pushing at first, it was a well implemented direct start. Too dark for me to derive any serious heat, but it was a well done story. Sort of a less ridiculous version of the film series Saw, of which I only ever liked the last five minutes of each film where they wrapped up everything. Anyway, I didn’t skip to the end here. I think what really meshed with me was the romance of it. I am a closet romantic The two were perfect for each other, and were lucky one of them knew it. And maybe, just maybe, erasing that browser history isn’t always necessary.
(ReReadability: high / Follow: no)
Never seem to have enough time to do these reviews anymore!