Sept 27, 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
A New Town, a New Beginning (mc md mf ff in hm) (new)  by OpenlyJas
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

“It was going to come good” is an awkward way to start a story, but I kept going.  I’m sure opinions vary on this, but describing woes paragraph one just doesn’t do it for me. I care not for characters I do not know. As a result of the start just describing woes, I started skimming rather early. Throwing in significant backstory in short form can be tricky to get right, and throwing it in at the beginning may not normally be a good idea. Pretty standard amoral guy uses magical object and/or powers to sexually control others. Not much reasoning given. Like I said, I started skimming fairly early, so if there was greater depth I probably missed it. May work for others, minus the occasionally awkward writing, but didn’t mesh with me.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

Nine to Hive (mc ff mf fd ft ma gr sf bd) (1 new chapter)  by Half Shim
–3.5/5 (good, not quite earth shattering)–

Second possibility, while the first was portrayed as the likeliest one, it would seem. Our heroine definitely got a bit beyond herself in this one, for lack of better words. In the first ending she appeared to remain at least subconsciously aware that she was strapped to a chair with her thoughts monitored in the real world. Essentially she was always at the whim of the Hive no matter what happened in her mind. Here, she let her anger and frustration get the better of her, and lost the chance for a powerful future with her friends, or what was left of them, at her side. The final TF here was hot in its own right, albeit not to the degree as shown in ending A. I’ll definitely look forward for further possibilities, especially if there’s one where Suzy becomes and insane Queen, as was stated as a possibility!
(Chap ReReadability: moderate / chap: alt ending B)

WITHOUT
Master / Disciple (mc mm) (new)  by Angel Raymond
~~2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)~~

About everything in the description of this story looks outside my regular interests! Though admirably different, I though this started in an overly technical fashion, with quite a bit of tell rather than show. Perhaps it was the MM slant, but detailing appearances didn’t do much to pull me in here. Didn’t pull me in that well narratively, but seemed like a pretty standard hypno affair. If you find hypnosis alone erotic, than the first part may be mind blowing, but that may hinge on if you enjoy MM heat. However, heat is of course irrelevant in this side of my reviews. To its credit, this is a rare MM story I reviewed that doesn’t completely rely on traditional MC heat. Out of that, I suppose there is an interesting story hiding in here, but I wasn’t personally able to derive that all that well in the first two chapters.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

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