WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …
WITHIN
Nine to Hive (mc ff mf fd ft ma gr sf bd) (1 new chapter) by Half Shim
-3.5/5 (good, not quite earth shattering)–
I’m glad to see a new chap of this one, even if its been over a year since the last update. I must admit, though, in the meta sense, calling each chap a “day” can be a touch frustrating to the otherwise patient reader … Anyway, written just fine and quite vivid. Dreams! I did feel a touch out of sync, though, probably because of how long its been. The wonderfully surreal nature of the installment did bring me back into sync 
. Some continued TF latex heat, while the more serious heat came later. Things do seem to be moving along. From reading Half Shim’s prior work, I have a good idea where this could be going, and I am excited. Let’s hope we won’t have to wait too long for the next chap!
(Chap ReReadability: moderate / Chap: 5)
Under Her Wing (mc ff) (new) by Ogodei-Khan
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–
Though perhaps not as pulled in as expected, this was written well enough. I’ve never personally been in some New Age shop, so I haven’t any personal analogue in mind. However, the writer does a well enough job giving the reader an idea of what one should expect. Interesting, but for whatever reason, didn’t keep my attention all that well. While it was a source of inspiration, as stated by the author, quoting Pink Floyd felt somewhat out of place. I do like Pink Floyd, yes, but having it referenced only at the start might’ve improved the feel. Much of their music, like The Wall, is rather subversive, and I just didn’t see that in this story. Not quite sure I understand what happened here, as it was a bit of a WTF ending …
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)
WITHOUT
The Collars (mc mf md) (new) by Dracone
~~1.5/5 (poor +, need to be mesmerized to really like this)~~
Had a bit of an overly sluggish feel with the paragraphs often being on the longer side. The overall writing felt a bit clunky, too, and in need of a further revision. Partly as a result of that, I wasn’t particularly pulled into this, and skimmed a bit. Everything just seemed too quick and easy. Resistance? Moral dilemma? It would’ve helped to see a bit of that. The show Continuum shows related tech, and effectively discusses their moral and ethical implications. I could tell there was an interesting story hiding here, but it was hard to see …
RANDOM COMMENTS
I’ve found my tastes in IN stories broadened of late to general lesbian IN. Attractive women coming together for pleasure. Why not?
The Realms of Mr. Potestas 