June 21 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Evilena Sounds a Note (mc ff) (new)  by Mistress Evilena’s Servant
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

I haven’t read any of the Evilena stories, so the real question, at least narratively, is if this stands well on its own. There are definitely some grammatical and punctuation errors, which could have been rectified in an extra edit, but it was still readable. The writing seemed to suggest an underlying excitement that was lost on me. Is our protagonist meant to be a kind of folk hero? Ultimately, I had trouble seeing the point in this Evilena’s actions of taking control of a music teacher. I guess she’s meant to be “evil” but still. I mean, power corrupts, sure, but she’s only a teenager here … For those looking for stories about people suddenly being hypnotized, this is your thing. Hypnosis in and of itself isn’t really my thing. As for the first question, evidence suggests that this does not work very well without knowledge of the other stories in the series.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

The Neuro-Device (mc ff) (new)  by If I Was Not You
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

Throwing in backstory right at the start is a mixed bag. I do it sometimes, but there typically isn’t any strong drama in it. I don’t really care about a character I just met breaking up with someone before the start of a story. The drama of it isn’t really pushed, so I’m ultimately neutral on having the backstory so early here. As a side note, I find it to be an interesting and uncommon style choice to use a single instead of a double quote for dialogue. Not a negative, just an observation. Though I’ve seen the techno themes here presented far more elaborately, it is still an interesting theme to utilize. Not really my thing, while not implemented as well it should have, but there is an interesting story hiding in there.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
The Choice (Curse Master W) (mc ff) (new)  by Curse Master W
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~

The pure concept of choice is an interesting one, and not utilized much in MC erotica. Anyway, kinda heavy handed at the start, while that was almost superfluous to the rest of the story. I’ve come to tolerate more informal writing styles — it does work in its own way, but is it so hard to spell out numbers? Now, it wasn’t the writing style that didn’t really pull me into this. It all seemed kinda convenient, while I couldn’t really see a motive behind this godlike being coming down to do what it did. If this wasn’t from the perspective of said being, I could’ve overlooked that. Plus, revenge stories in the MC arena rarely pull me in anyway  Just didn’t mesh with me.

RANDOM COMMENTS
Someone’s gotta think up a good story with both erotic mc and time travel…