May 31 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Ballad of the Integration Movement (mc ft) (new)  by Mr. Scade
–3/5 (decent, not perfect)–

Looked, well, unusual, and shifting perspective is a narrative style not done enough in erotica. Paragraph one affirms that the promise of something unusual is to be fulfilled. Though this read quite smoothly, unsurprisingly, there were some quiet flaws (ie was vs were at one point). To nitpick, I had issue with the formation of he said/she said here. To illustrate, we often see the quoted dialogue, then a comma, and then the they said (lower case pronoun, while uppercase for proper noun). Here it’s instead period then uppercase pronoun. But, whatever, the machination here is consistent, and that’s all I really care about  … Anyway, this shows some promise, at least narratively. It loosely reminded me of Invasion of the Nylonians, which was at least a bevy of good ideas thrown together, and latex TF stories I wrote, especially within my Passions Multiverse. No real heat at all; indeed, not too much in the way of eroticism outside transformation. Still, even with this first chap mostly being mere exposition, this is definitely a story to watch.
(ReReadability: moderate / follow: yes)

A Most Unusual Day (mc ff) (new)  by Nick Vegas
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

Polished well enough, but I didn’t find myself pulled in seriously. Perhaps the impression comes from the Author’s Note stating this story was to be a kind of revisit of his past stories, but it felt like an imperfect yet cleaned up copy of early writings. Kinda straight forward with no real surprises. Like I said, this was polished, but definitely not for me.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
Lilith (mc mf md) (new)  by Trent Wolf
~~2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)~~

While I felt nothing for the apparently kidnapped witch, who started as kidnapped from the reader’s perspective, this was overall polished. I guess I’m a bit tired of High Fantasy. I’ve come to prefer my Fantasy so contemporary it practically Science Fiction. You know, like Lost Girl  Anyway, this was very much a genre piece. That’s not necessarily a bad thing, though. Indeed, this story merely used High Fantasy as a vehicle for BDSM. If you’re looking for sex slave conversion wrapped in High Fantasy, this is your story!
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
I actually think arguments on grammar are a little silly, because there’s multiple, evolving styles. Just stick with a style with a smile!