Apr 5 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
New Employment (mc mf md fd ft hm) (new)  by Latexthom
2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)


That disclaimer totally could’ve shrunk to “Only for adults that like alternate stuff!” but whatever! Perhaps it was intentional, but this felt rather mundane at the start. Polished otherwise. As a nitpick, it seemed rather unnecessary to have “End of chapter” at the end of a chapter. I mean, does the reader really need that announced? Anyway, my real issue was that there seemed to be too much set up. Granted, I don’t mind backstory, but it may not always be necessary to give that much detail. It does pick up a bit in the latter two chaps (Apr 12 update), but this one just didn’t mesh with me.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

Pork Fever (mc mf ff in) (new)  by Maarten Otter
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

Seemed a little silly, even if this isn’t real  , but thought I should give it a go! The writing showed polish, while the concept of a “sex virus” seemed rather well trodden. Interesting, if only just. What really kept this genre piece from standing on its own was how a lot of this was a discussion of the virus itself. Granted, this may be a first chap, but there wasn’t enough umph for me the to keep watching.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
Flip (mc mf md) (new)  by asianpersuasion
~~1.5/5 (poor +, need to be mesmerized to really like this)~~

Looked unusual, so why not? No offense to the author, but I haven’t watched Community, let alone the “Darkest Timeline” episode. That’s not to say I have anything against show, just haven’t had the time to watch it! Anyway, there are some grammatical hiccups like missing commas before the name of the person being referred to, but otherwise readable. Granted, this is an interesting concept, but from very early on, I kept wondering the point to all this or what this was. Did the guy have some magic coin? Was this just an elaborate fantasy? Did I not read this deeply enough? And then there’s how I always felt children feel out of place to me in this context. Showing alternate realities can be interesting, but this jumped around too much to allow the reader time to understand the story. Ultimately, a confused jumble.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
I’ve come to the conclusion that the reason why I don’t like seeing children in erotica is how the stories aren’t written for them. That’s not to mention the Archive’s agreeable rules against posting stories with underage sex! It just seems a little too ironic.