March 1 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
The Girl from Ipanema (mc mf fd) (new)  by willgb5602000
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

Quavering is quite literally a new word for me! Seriously, I thought it was a spelling error at first … Anyway, while there is definite polish, I didn’t think this flowed as well as it should’ve. Events felt a bit forced and sudden. The set up didn’t peak my interest either. All seemed a little too convenient. Sure, this was obviously the first chapter, but not much really seemed to happen. Just didn’t work for me, but hypno purists may find something here.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

Relic (mc mf fd) (new)  by Mike Talbot
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

Felt like the author was trying too hard to make the reader hate fictional characters just introduced. It’s like how I can’t feel sorry for a fictional character I met a sentence ago. As such, the narrator comes off as a bit whiny. There was definitely some polish to this rather casually done piece, but I found myself skimming rather early. There must’ve been some weirdness, given the title, but I guess I started skimming before that.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
Window to the Mind (mc mf md) (new)  by Dorlas
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

Minus the occasional spelling error, this was written well enough. For what it was, it was all right. However, there was nothing particularly new or different or mesmerizing about this hypno piece.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
Oddly enough, Potestas (power) is in fact feminine in Latin

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