Feb 8 2014 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
A Demonic Change for the Better (mc mf ff gr) (new)  by Dracone
–1.5/5 (poor +, need to be mesmerized to really like this)–

I’m sure it would come as no surprise that I lean toward nuanced, demoniac succubi instead of the classical demonic, but I thought I should give this a chance. While I can be a bit long winded myself, it was a serious detriment in this case. This was certainly in need of further editing. Granted, it may show up differently on a word processor, but sentences showing up here as seven lines long should probably get another look. Many paragraphs were unnecessarily long, too. Old training of trying to keep sentences and paragraphs from running on kicking in :) Also, a bit too front loaded on the backstory, which for once, at least, seemed partly irrelevant. I truly wanted to enjoy this, but there was nothing compelling, while the structural problems caused me to skim early. And finally, the “Continued” at the end confused me. Was it supposed to be “To be continued”?
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

Elevator Encounter (mc mf fd) (new)  by Neal Lowe
–1.5/5 (poor +, need to be mesmerized to really like this)–

The first chapter alone felt oddly quirky, while it did little to really pull me in. Structurally, the first chapter should’ve been merged with the first. It’s ridiculously short, and not much really happens. Maybe I just didn’t find random CEO walking into an elevator all that interesting … ? The second chap needed another edit. While it was all right grammatically in its own style, the paragraphs became unnecessarily long, and were hard to weed through. The story itself was ultimately meh. Generic BDSM stuff just starts happening to a guy that wants it. I was skimming, yes, but I’m honestly not sure where the MC was here …

WITHOUT
Demonic Experiences (mc mf md gr) (new)  by Dracone
~~1/5 (poor, so this happened …)~~

I could tell right away that this was basically the same story as the other one with the Demonic Succubus. The writing was actually worse than the prior: even longer oversized paragraphs, weak grammar, weak story, and the still confusing “Continued” at the end…
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
This may be my lowest scoring set of reviews …

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