Jan 11 14 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Betrayal of the Succubi (mc ff) (new)  by Clare de Luna
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

I tend to like less traditional, wing and tailless succubi, but I thought I’d give this a go anyway. Gotta admit a mythological being hanging out on a stone gargoyle seemed a bit cliche, while the writing was generally polished otherwise. This started a bit slow and grim. Not necessarily a bad thing, but like with Caly sitting on a gargoyle, nothing felt new here. Lost Girl can be quite dark at times, while often following familiar fantastical themes, but at least its fun in the many right moments. Ultimately, Betrayal’s slowness seemed to just grow slower, and made the story feel way too plodding and ponderous, while lacking the self aware fun. The imagery was vivid at least, and that helped me make it to the end.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

Melissa & Megumi (mc ff fd ma) (new)  by SousukeBeru
–3.5/5 (good, not quite earth shattering)–

“The story begins” is something I remember being told to basically never use due to its obviousness, but whatever … It is written well enough, but this bleeds simple schoolboy fantasy! Certainly feels like a first attempt, or something close. However, as firsts go, there is definite potential here. The story is certainly readable, and far from boring. It reminded me of many early fantasies I had back in high school, and how those inspired my early works on the Archive. While such high school fantasies aren’t necessarily workable as a piece of erotica, as I learned long ago, the author made it readable here, if only just.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
Persuasive (mc mf md in) (new)  by wgarvin
~~3/5 (decent, not perfect)~~

Interesting, but not as captivating as it was probably trying to be. There is a nice touch of mystery in the beginning, even though that may have given one too many layers to a story that doesn’t seem that deep otherwise. A little slow to start, too, I suppose. Ultimately, rather straight forward, but not bad for what it was.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
I think we all had that breathy MC voice and MC touch fantasy back in our late teens!