WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …
WITHIN
BimboTech: Maid in America (mc mf ff md gr) (new) by The Sympathetic Devil
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–
First of all, I think this had definite polish. However, I could tell paragraph one that this could have been hemmed up a lot (20k word single chap is WAY up there in this context). This is short form. You can get away with not saying every detail. I personally would have felt better if this was split up between multiple chaps at least. Maybe this is the style of the series, but I don’t remember reading any other story in this series. It’s probably a failing of mine, but if one of these “short” erotic stories is longer than average and moves a bit on the slow side, I start skimming a bit. This not grabbing me right away made this a bit of a difficult read. Ultimately, not everything was really to my tastes here, while there was definitely a readable bimbo TF story beyond the excessive length.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)
The Svengali Device (mc mf md) (new) by captolafson
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–
This based on a real thing? Excuse me for being a bit skeptical … Anyway, I greatly enjoy backstory to a fault, but starting it paragraph two is risky, for lack of better words. I just learned of this character, and I don’t yet care about where she came from. This was polished, but too much time was spent on the character’s life pre-NASA to the point where I found myself not caring about her exploits at NASA. Good themes, but not presented all that well, in my opinion. So yeah, this didn’t work for me …
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)
WITHOUT
Mindscaping (mc mm) (new) by TheYetti
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~
“It all began” is such a superfluous statement that we can just pretend it never happened … Polished, I suppose, but the narration/descriptions seemed a bit too drawn out. I’m exaggerating a bit, but I don’t need to know about every body hair follicle. As such, felt like this took a while to get anywhere, even though this wasn’t particularly long. The story itself was rather straight forward, or at least nothing surprised me. If you’re into MM sex or at least an MM tease, this is for you. Otherwise, nothing stand out.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)
RANDOM COMMENTS
I’m sure I’ve said this before, but, while I mean no disrespect to the authors, most MM stories I’ve reviewed tend to lack a strong narrative.
The Realms of Mr. Potestas 