WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …
WITHIN
The Demon King and the Hero (mc mf md la gr) (new) by ChaosNight
–1/5 (poor, go go giga, impact!)
Is it a bad sign the disclaimer has arguable grammatical issues? … Yes. No offense to the author, but the errors in nearly every sentence made me laugh! This is at least partly out of my love for the Written in Haste Kids in the Hall Sketch. Anyway, very difficult to follow, if only because of the poor writing and unnatural dialogue. For short form like this, I’ll never say it’s necessary to find a bona fide editor, but bouncing off of others can be helpful…
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)
Grace Rivers’ Rehabilitation Center — The Birdie Course (mc ff) (new) by InLeaves
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–
Everything was a little too direct at the start for my taste. Like I always say, I can never feel anything for a character I met a sentence ago… The writing was fine otherwise, and definitely polished. However, the writing felt a little contradictory, even though I get what was going on, more or less. Saying you’re a man, and then finding yourself in an all female facility? I don’t know … Had it’s moments, I suppose, but most of this was really not my scene.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)
WITHOUT
Hypno Therapy (Revisiting the Unethical (?) Therapist) (mc) (new) by b4uweremine
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~
Just a nitpick, I think. I’m not sure if it’s the fault of the author or Simon, but having the first part in an author’s note style block made me read it as an author’s note at first. Unless it actually is some kind of author’s note! I is confused … Anyway, the writing is just fine. Nothing particularly struck me, though. Hypno purists will likely enjoy this, but the story just didn’t mesh with me.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)
RANDOM COMMENTS
Liking the female foot, not counting flip flops, I have no real attraction to shoes, but I will admit that there are shoes that frame a woman’s foot quite well.
The Realms of Mr. Potestas 