Nov 16th ‘013 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Cursed With a Fantasy (mc mf md ft) (new)  by Hypnofur
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

I must admit the start wasn’t particularly compelling to me. It was borderline complaining, while it really just felt like I was being told background about someone I don’t care anything about yet. Also, having desires you don’t want seem contradictory to me. They are your desires. Yes, there’s obviously MC here, but there wasn’t much indication of that at the start. Very quickly I found myself unable go with Brent’s troubles. Nothing to latch onto, save for having a stage hypnotist or two appear on my high school and college. The story is written fine for what it was, but I just couldn’t get into it
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

Milk Island (mc ff mf gr la) (new)  by CNP
–3.5/5 (good, not quite earth shattering)–

Perhaps I wasn’t pulled in as well as I hoped, but the story was written quite well. I was loosely reminded of the game show survivor, which has the contestants often forced to survive in locations where there are already people. Anyway, while I wasn’t completely taken by it, this was a fine TF and fine story.
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
Redhead Rules the World (mc mf fd) (new)  by Dou7gx
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~

The premise seemed a bit grandiose to me, if only because it was laid out so blatantly in the synopsis alone. I often like some subtlety … Now, I don’t mind heavy dialogue as much as I used to (I’m tinkering with such a story), but it was kinda awkward here. There were instances of just one line of dialogue after another without much indication of who was talking. I found it very easy to loose track of who was who, even though there were just two here. Maybe I watched Doctor Who: The Enemy of the World too recently, but this just didn’t work for me. Everything was just too obvious without any layers.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)

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