June 8th 2012 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Mermaid Manor (mc ff gr) (new)  by baseball_876
–1/5 (poor, PC Load Letter? What the fuck does that mean!?)–

Mermaid TF? OK, I’ll give it a go! Anyway, sentence one is filled with grammatical and spelling errors … Really!? I mean no disrespect to the author, but I actually found myself laughing in disbelief toward what looks like a first draft done without spellcheck on (spellcheck is actually on by default on nearly every word processor) … Run-on sentences, awkward writing, and a punchline of a monstrously overlong paragraph at the end! I think the fact that I openly stated I was laughing was already far enough …
(ReReadability: low / follow: no)

Nine to Hive (mc ff mf fd ft ma gr sf bd) (1 new chapter)  by Half Shim
–3.5/5 (good, not quite earth shattering)–

Wow, that was a long wait. I was staring to think this wasn’t gonna be continued! Took a second or two to refocus myself after whatever that was above, while the writing is so good here that it was soothing comparatively. Half Shim is thus far the only author on the archive that can do a nearly pure office setting, and have me like it! Not necessarily a groundbreaking installment, but enjoyable. However, I must admit to not being able to read this chap too deeply with my schedule significantly changed, as evidenced by the lateness of these reviews. Same amount of free time, just adapting to it at different times … Anyway, TPS Report!
(Chap ReReadability: low / Chap: 3)

WITHOUT
Salvaged (mc sf la) (new)  by Half Shim
~~ 3.5/5 (good, not quite earth shattering)~~

Very familiar themes from the start, while this is written more than well enough for none of it to feel cliche. One small nitpick is the use of a “circuit breaker.” Isn’t there usually something a little more advanced than that in futuristic sci-fi tales? Also, this felt a little on the sluggish side at first, but that may be due to the somewhat longer than average length of this. Though I also could not get into this as deeply as I would have liked, this was enjoyable. I’ll probably just read this again, when I’m better adapted to my new schedule, and who knows, I may just unprecedentedly reevaluate this one!
(ReReadability: high / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
So I recently found a story concept online about a husband and wife doing a roleplay where the wife is an expensive prostitute, and he actually pays her for sex. That inspired me to write an upcoming Blog Flash where I go the next step with the wife joining a brothel for her husband. This anti-Girlfriend-Experience concept is still driving me nuts!