WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …
Dolls (mc ff gr in fu) (1 new chapter) by Leigh Malheur
–3/5 (decent, not perfect)–
I must admit this is definitely unusual in it’s own way. That’s a good thing, because it helps me to overlook the master/slave and bondage elements I’m not a fan of. Though, I do find myself having a little trouble following, if only because the second chap was so wildly different from the first. I got the idea of the plot, so that issue faded over the course of the chap somewhat. I think if the story was slowed down by half a notch confusion would be less of a problem. Nitpick bordering on a negative: I couldn’t understand why the author sometimes used “neko” (Japanese for cat apparently) instead of cat, while I had no idea what the author was talking about until I looked it up and read on. There were related instances of this. Stylistically, I also find myself not liking the use of, well, fake compound words: “pleasurepain”, “exhaustionhaze” etc … Despite the oddities and confusions, I’m still liking this overall. Love sister/sister incest, and the transformations are quite excellent.
(ChapRereadability: low / Chap 3)
Power of the Moon (mc ff gr) (new) by Vez’Roth
–5/5 (TRULY ORGASMIC!)–
Erotic Fiction on the Erotic Mind Control Archive? Who knew! Anyway, very nicely polished, and interesting from the start. I was glued to the words! One small nitpick is the use of the word “sarong” without any definition as to what it was (wraparound skirt basically). Had to look it up, not exactly a common word in North America. Well, I had least had never heard or seen it before! Anyway, the slow tf was quite delicious, as was their conversation. Kinda saw where this was going, but that somehow made this even better! In spite of the minor nitpicks, this was utterly awesome.
(Readability: high / Follow: yes)
The Obelisk (mc mf ff) (1 new chapter) by Somebody You Don’t Know
~~3/5 (decent, not perfect)~~
Having given up on this story at least a year ago (started 2011), I honestly can’t remember for sure if it was in this section! It being the last chap, I thought I at least see how it all ended anyway. Do have a pet peeve when it comes to numbers not being spelled out, and this author apparently doesn’t like to do that. Sure, the amount of digits that should be spelled out is debatable (I’ll spell out up to three or more thanks to my formal non fiction roots), but at least single digits should be spelled out! There were other occasional typos/errors as well that could have been removed with an extra edit. Feels a but over the top, but that may come from not reading the prior chaps all that recently. Also, the drama felt a bit forced. I’m glad this had an ending, while the very interesting MC theme was kinda twisted in ways often not to my tastes. It was still weird enough to keep my interest until the end.
(Chap ReReadability: low / Chap: 4)
It really is nice when a story is completed, even if there was a long hiatus.