5/4/13 EMCSA Update!

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Milena’s Story (mc mf ff fd) (new)  by RikaNeko
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

I must admit this felt a very generic and tired and cliched thematically. While things were obviously gonna happen to our sexy vamp, she seemed to have no depth. Why must they always sleep in some ultimately conspicuous coffin? Why can’t a vampire be more than blood obsessed humanoids? Blood is there food, why do always they have to be obsessed with it? I’m not obsessed with chicken! Plus, turning random people into slaves and “reserves” seems like it could get rather conspicuous, too… The writing itself was generally OK, plus or minus some awkwardly worded sentences. Just couldn’t get into this one at all. And “Fin” with a question mark? Right …
(Readability: low / follow: no)

The Most Stubborn Woman (mc ff) (new)  by Retta
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–

Well, never read the Infinity City universe, and don’t have the time to. So … Anyway, starting in a generic office is never a good way to pull me in. Unless we’re making fun of it, I don’t think any serious description of an office and related work is necessary. Definitely polished, but certainly not an enticing start for me. Plus, the pacing feels rather slow, so it takes a while to really get anywhere. I must admit to skimming a little. Slow pacing is fine, if I’m interested in the goings on … Just didn’t mesh with me.
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)

WITHOUT
The Resort (mc mf md rb) (new)  by Robotmaster
~~2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)~~

Minus some noticeable formatting errors, the writing was generally fine. Those errors would have been negated if the dialogue was not always lumped together in paragraph form, making the conversing parties occasionally hard to differentiate visually. There is energy behind this, and that helps overcome that issue, if only just. Definitely one for the robot lovers out there. Kinda neutral to the theme in and of itself, so I always need a strong story to back it up (ie most of the robot TF stories in Doctor Who). And well, this story wasn’t quite enough to seriously arouse me intellectually.
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
Sorry crappy Vampire movie writers, I just can’t logically understand the narrative connection between strip clubs and Vampires.

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