WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …
WITHIN
Dolls (mc ff gr in) (new) by Leigh Malheur
–4/5 (pretty good, not perfect but enjoyable)–
The premise reminds me of another story I was following. It started to drag fairly early both in time between updates and narrative, so I just couldn’t follow it anymore. This story, however, already seems better contained starting with this reasonable length chapter. One nitpick is that I would have omitted the “Author’s Note” in this case, as it is kinda spoilery. Anyway, this showed some great polish. And yes, a fine start to a story I will follow!
(Readability: moderate / follow: yes)
MILFs Gone Wild (mc mf md) (new) by Iron Nick
–2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)–
I must say that selfishly fracking around with a mysterious drug isn’t necessarily to my tastes. Sure, never been in a true frat, but at least in the film Animal House, there appeared to be a degree of innocent playfulness amongst the hedonistic debauchery, which actually did not include dangerous narcotics. I had trouble seeing that innocence here, while this certainly had no Belushi! Maybe this was the start of a fuller story, but this drug really seemed too good to be true, too. This just didn’t work for me. Good title, though.
(Readability: Low / Follow: no)
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Desire Dating (mc mf md) (new) by Pan
~~2/5 (so-so, maybe a good story to others but didn’t mesmerize me)~~
An interesting issue I picked up on here was how it wasn’t obvious that to her that her coworker’s email was hacked by a spammer. A virus is one thing, but a hacker is far more likely and obvious. It happened to one of my former college professors, who found his new side business of selling viagra to his friends and coworkers very amusing! Regardless of her monotony, I also found myself having a very low opinion of this person’s intelligence for not just erasing the obvious spam … Not necessarily a bad theme, but it didn’t play out in a way that meshed with me.
(ReReadability: Low / Follow: no)
The Realms of Mr. Potestas 