12/23/12 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Another Left Turn  (mc mf fd ft) (new) by   Mr. Scade
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

The writing was generally fine. Plus, latex will always get my attention Kinda trailed off I think after the first part before again finding its stride halfway through. Plus, the changing of the names thing seemed unnecessary and irrelevant. Change of scenery and pace isn’t necessarily bad, but I find video games to be more in the realm of fun than erotic, while it is far better to play them than to describe them … Anyway, like I already kinda said, it’s biggest weakness is presentation. The description of the gameplay bordered on the irrelevant, while it almost seemed like this was trying to discuss or debate the goings on with the reader, who just wanted to read. The latex lady was a pleasant image at least, while I kept wondering the reason for her actions other than to screw around. The heat was enjoyable, albeit hampered by the presentation. There is a good story in there.
(Readability: low / follow: no)

A View to a Jill  (mc ff) (new) by   Lisa Teez
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

That is one killing title! Anyway, wasn’t particularly pulled in at first. Discussing a Grandfather’s possible ninja fantasy could be interesting, but I was personally disinterested when I read it. So I started skimming a bit early, this being rather long … Anyway, for whatever reason, I just couldn’t get into this. It has polish and everything, but I found myself continually disinterested. I could just turn on the news to see the negative effect of bullying, while cheerleaders are only really my thing if they all start screwing each other fairly quickly, and even then. Not really into revenge themes in erotica either. Wasn’t bad, perfectly readable, if albeit a bit too long. It just never grabbed me.
(Readability: low / Follow: no)

WITHOUT
The Naughty List (mc ma) (new) by   Coin of Gold
~~2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)~~

The writing seemed a bit stilted and artificial at times, while this first timer did put some polish in this. Some arguable formatting issues, too, like how a lot of the numbers should’ve been spelled out. As I was taught, I personally like to spell out three digits or less, but there is some debate on that! Writing formatting is not necessarily as solid as some like to argue Anyway, the writer could have done a better job showing instead of telling. Maybe I’m not in the most excited of moods this week (BAH HUMBUG! ), but there really was A LOT of tell. Missing an IN tag, too … Interesting story in there, I suppose, but I think it could’ve used a little more work. If it was played up more comedically as a farce or parody, it could have worked a bit better.
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
MERRY NEW YEAR!