11/25/12 EMCSA Update

WITHIN: Graded primarily on heat and narrative
WITHOUT: Graded primarily on narrative
Possible spoilers below …

WITHIN
Roaming Canvas  (mc fd ma ft ex ds rb) (1 new chapter) by   Mr. Scade
–3/5 (decent, not perfect)–

One interesting thing of note is that it seemed our folk hero drank multiple bottles of wine in the same sitting. That’s just asking for alcohol poisoning, so unless that was a writing error (could’ve misread, too), it would appear the she has physical superhuman traits beyond her powerful artistic skills! Also, bartenders are fully allowed to stop serving after too many drinks to make sure they don’t allow the patron to kill themself … Anyway, perhaps it was a bit too sentimental for my tastes in this context, but it was fine backstory. I must admit, though, telling someone to “obey” seems ridiculously redundant after they were already mind fracked, and will do whatever is asked of them regardless. As a result of the master/slave element, much of the heat was beyond me, to be diplomatic. Minor errors here and there, too (ie “wand what better way …”), but it was still perfectly readable.
(ChapReadability: low / Chap: 10)

Turn About (Cafetray)  (mc ff) (new) by   Cafetray
–2.5/5 (not great, had some redeeming qualities)–

I must admit I wasn’t pulled in all that much at the beginning. In this context, I guess I’m fine with some drama, but I prefer it not be at the start. I just can’t feel anything for characters I met one sentence ago. The story itself is fine and with few errors. I must admit that it seemed kinda convenient that this company existed in the context of this story, so it was hard to see this as anything more than fantasy. While I wasn’t all that into the story ultimately, the lesbian heat was enjoyable.
(Readability: low / follow: no)

WITHOUT
A Casual Encounter Gone Awry (mc mf fd) (new) by   born2bowned
~~1.5/5 (poor +, need to be mesmerized to really like this)~~

BDSM? Yeah, that’s outside my usual interests! This author isn’t big on using commas, making many sentences seem like rambling to me. While there are certainly multiple schools of thought on that topic, there were instances where there should have been at least one comma: “[sic] Mmmmm that’s better now you sit tight while I get the name phone number and email address of everyone close to you” …  Anyway, very much a genre piece. The two obviously wanted that ultimate master/slave relationship (to each their own), and it heads there before the midway point. One serious issue I saw here was that there was very little true MC here, while what was there was really unnecessary (mostly generic semi-hypnotic conditioning). Like I said, this is clearly what they both wanted, while it admittedly lead there sooner than the guy expected. I didn’t wanna give this such a low score, but the mentioned issues couldn’t be ignored.
(ReReadability: low / Follow: no)

RANDOM COMMENTS
“How do you write women so well?” / “I think of a man, and I take away reason and accountability.” As Good as it Gets (1997)

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